Nothing in Particular (Day 11)

You know what sucks about living in the country, other than being REALLY far from anything remotely interesting? When your dog decides she’s going to chase something, she can go REALLY far without running into anything to stop her.
Which is where I was about an hour ago.
Well, technically I was in the yard on the 4 wheeler (because enticing her out of the woods with something loud and fast is more fun than chasing her on foot, trudging through the woods where all the lycanthropes and un-hunky vampires live.)

Which is where we get ATV ADVENTURES

Brought to you by: that tall blonde chick wearing shorts and sandals

Made fun by: those freezing cold puddles that don’t look like puddles at night but shower you with a freezing cold, muddy, and unpleasant mist in 30 degree weather. (Plus, you know, the wind speed of being on the 4wheeler.)

But it’s ok because I got her back and spent most of my day (by most of my day I mean I woke up at 1, so my day has kind of only reached it’s peak) outside just reading, doing some homework, writing a song for my friend Jessica going for a walk, yelling at some pot head neighbor kids…you know, the usual. (just so you know, the song writing thing isn't as unusual as you think it is, it's not usually a song, but we have some great ways of making fun of each other)

And….

You guessed it, my new fixation with Graham Norton! (it makes everyday awesome, you know it does)

So, through this, I learned some new jokes.

Most of which were rather dirty.

Ok, extremely dirty, but I’m not putting them on here. (However, if you’d like to hear them, hit me up. I almost choked I was laughing so hard)


Minnie Driver’s Favorite joke: So a snail is just sluggin’ down the street when he gets mugged by two tortoises. The police come to ask him what happened and he replies “I don’t know, it all happened so fast.”

So an Irish bloak walks into a library and he says to the librarian, “excuse me ma’am, I would like the fish and chips.” She puts on a scolding face and says, “I’m sorry sir, but this is a library. Please keep your voice down” to which the Irish guy responds, lowering his voice to a whisper, “oh, I’m sorry, how rude of me. When will my fish and chips be ready?”

I’m sorry you guys! Those are the most PG ones we have!
I can’t help it!
I just don’t know any good jokes!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!! *goes to cry in corner*

Anyways…

Ooh, I do have another one.

But I’m pretty sure you’ve all heard it.

So a young girl walks up to her mother and asks, “Why did you name me Daisy?”
The girl’s mother replies, “Because when you were born a Daisy pedal fell on your head.”
Another little girl walks up to her mother and asks. “Mom, why did you name me Rose?”
To which her mother replies, “Because darling, when you were born a rose pedal fell on your head.”
A third little girl walks up to her mother and says, “duhhhhhh”
“SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!”

ok, it’s awful. But it made you laugh.
You know it.
Well if you got it.

That’s all for today folks!

Anagram: NORTON: No one Ordinary Returns To Oslo Norway (ha, I love you Webster’s New World Dictionary)